Argh

I've just had this aversion to blog lately. I think it's because I have so much going on in my head I just don't know how to get it out in words. There are all these controicting feelings and I'm not sure I know how to organize them in my head let alone in a blog. It seems like every time I get to a place where I feel like I'm ok and have control something else happens (big break up, kicked out, move, oh I don't know, internal bleeding....) So now I'm hesitant to feel ok with things, not that I'm sitting here thinking if I'm not organized things will hold off...just a psychological hesitancy. But I did finish a class yesterday and there are two more I'm close to done with so I am starting to feel organized in that area. I'm not feeling ok with the Brian thing. I don't know what the heck we're doing at the moment...I don't want to talk about that at the moment.

The girls are FANTASTIC at the moment. They seem very content with things. They are being more independant as the days go on, allowing me to get more work done which is good because I'm doing my internship next semester which means a lot more work. I really struggle with doing work around them because I don't want them to feel like I'm ignoring them or neglecting them but I also think it's good that they learn that they are not going to be played with every second of everyday. It's not like while I'm working if someone falls I just ignore it or if they cry they have to deal with it. I still interact with them and care for them, I just do it with a computer in my lap while they are on the floor instead. I don't know. I feel like they're fine and I know I'm being stupid but I worry about these things.