Well I'm not really sure what to do about the title language. As I'm typing it shows in English but when I post it becomes that...any ideas?
After loosing 15 lbs on Weight watchers I totally fell off the wagon. I was really motivated by being thin when I saw my family at Christmas so I was pushing. Well Bailey was attacked by a pit bull so I essentially stayed home and sat on the couch cuddling her and eating and furthermore I couldn't leave her and go home for Christmas so I wasn't as motivated. At this point I have gained back all the weight plus a few pounds. I'm not even fitting into my fat clothes anymore so I had to go to Marshals and buy bigger fat clothes. So tomorrow I'm officially back on the wagon. I'm going to go to my favorite meeting and I will re-register my weight so I don't have to wait 20 lbs before the computer recognizes I'm back in loosing range. Part of me feels like it's pointless because I always fall off the wagon. I just don't know what to do with myself about it. I have a closet full of clothes that I've bought on clearance for when I loose the weight but I never get there. I think part of my problem is that I do a really good job for a while and I feel really good about myself and then I go try on those clothes and they still don't fit. I know that's no reason to stop...its that much more of a reason to keep going. It's just so discouraging that I "need" to emotionally eat and then I don't stop. I guess it isn't pointless to fall off the wagon because every time I do I learn how to make the next time better. I know the change in weather is going to be really nice, I'm going to want to be outside a lot more.
So moving right along...I smell a dirty diaper...I need to investigate.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
गेत्तिंग स्तार्तेद
Everytime I write a title for this post it comes out in some sort of Eastern language...It's just not worth the hassel.
I think it's going to take me a couple posts to really give a complete update since I've been gone so long...I guess I'll catch up along the way. In a nutshell, my life is rather insane at the moment. I'm working 20 hours a week with the girls, 20 hours of internship and 15 hours of classes. I was daydreaming in class today thinking OMG, if you think about all the paperwork I'm doing for my internship (+/-10 hours depending on the week) and all the homework I'm doing (+/- 15-20 hrs/wk) I'm working give or take a 90 hour week. No wonder I can't get rid of the exhaustion!! Thank God Brian more or less makes me put it all away one weekend night a week for martini's, hot baths and movies. Sometimes I hate him for it but it's really the only time I sit down for a deep breath. As a whole things are pretty good though. If it weren't for being so worn out I would be relatively happy. Unfortunately I am interning at a place where there is a propensity for DSS/CPS involvement, it breaks my heart everytime I have to call them and that's pretty regularly. Sooner or later I'll get used to it and I won't come home with a pile of kleenex's on the floor of my car but at the same time I don't ever want to become cold hearted to it. Some of my supervisors are pretty cut off. I know to a degree you have to be and most of the ones I'm talking about work on the Sexual Trauma team so there has to be some sort of seperation and humor or how would you ever sleep at night? I guess there is a happy medium somewhere. Maybe the peaople I'm talking about are in that happy medium but looking at them as such a fresh therapist is hard. But this is the profession I have chosen and for the most part I enjoy it. I just need to get away from the kids. Watching the kids deal with this just kills me day in and day out. I need a rich couple who's biggest argument in life is how to spend that 20 million...In my dreams right;)
I think it's going to take me a couple posts to really give a complete update since I've been gone so long...I guess I'll catch up along the way. In a nutshell, my life is rather insane at the moment. I'm working 20 hours a week with the girls, 20 hours of internship and 15 hours of classes. I was daydreaming in class today thinking OMG, if you think about all the paperwork I'm doing for my internship (+/-10 hours depending on the week) and all the homework I'm doing (+/- 15-20 hrs/wk) I'm working give or take a 90 hour week. No wonder I can't get rid of the exhaustion!! Thank God Brian more or less makes me put it all away one weekend night a week for martini's, hot baths and movies. Sometimes I hate him for it but it's really the only time I sit down for a deep breath. As a whole things are pretty good though. If it weren't for being so worn out I would be relatively happy. Unfortunately I am interning at a place where there is a propensity for DSS/CPS involvement, it breaks my heart everytime I have to call them and that's pretty regularly. Sooner or later I'll get used to it and I won't come home with a pile of kleenex's on the floor of my car but at the same time I don't ever want to become cold hearted to it. Some of my supervisors are pretty cut off. I know to a degree you have to be and most of the ones I'm talking about work on the Sexual Trauma team so there has to be some sort of seperation and humor or how would you ever sleep at night? I guess there is a happy medium somewhere. Maybe the peaople I'm talking about are in that happy medium but looking at them as such a fresh therapist is hard. But this is the profession I have chosen and for the most part I enjoy it. I just need to get away from the kids. Watching the kids deal with this just kills me day in and day out. I need a rich couple who's biggest argument in life is how to spend that 20 million...In my dreams right;)
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Starting New...
Okay so I'm so responsible about posting that I think I'm going to change my purpose. I think that part of my problem with blogging is that first, the blog isn't really relevant to my life anymore because I'm healthy and secondly, I have this expectation of myself that I'm going to write everyday which is pretty unrealistic for my life. So first I'm going to change the purpose of my blog and secondly change my expectations of myself. So that's what I'm working on for now and I will update soon.
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