This is getting REALLLLY old

Well, after yet another Dr appt today I'm now on Beta Blockers...great. More medications...that's exactly what I need. I finally have a cardiologist after asking for a reference for forever now. Oh well what are you going to do. So now my relationship sucks, My heart is freaking out and now I have yet ANOTHER Dr to keep track of. I feel like such a complainer and I know that there are people out there, maybe even reading this that have it much worse that I and I have no clue how they handle it either. This totally changes your life. Like I have a cardiology appt on Thurs but because of my arrhythmia (the reason I need a cardiologist) I can't drive to the appt. I have no family in town and all my friends are in class at that time. How the heck am I supposed to get there? This is just so hard and I feel like such a selfish b*&#% because everything is about me but I'm just yucky so I can't really function otherwise to make it not about me. It's so easy to fall into feeling sorry for yourself all the time. Can you tell I'm struggling to stay out of that rut at the moment? It's just been a long few days and the fact that Brisn and I are dealing with a lot of tension at the moment just kinda tops it off. I'm used to being able to turn to him and lean on him and I don't feel like that's much of an option at the moment. I need him so badly. He's amazing and he's been here from day one. Honestly I'm just so exhausted at the moment that I just don't care. Ok I do care but I just don't have the energy to do something about it. OK I'm taking myself into a pathetic state so I'm going to go get a drink...Heh, I wish.