First I want to talk about the fact that I just talked to Brian. We made a deal that if something were wrong I would call. I was THRILLED the last time we talked. He flirted with me! Things have been so focused on my being sick that I don't remember the last time we flirted. I was having a really hard time the last few days with this chest pain. I desperately needed his support and comfort, I called him.
I haven't slept in the last few days because I was scared that the chest pain was a clot and I was terrified of dying in my sleep. I needed a little of that best friend/boyfriend comfort only he can give. I wish he would have been there to cuddle me as I went to sleep. As soon as I heard the worry in his voice I burst into tears but of course because I don't know whether I have a boyfriend or not I wouldn't tell him why I was crying, he got snappy and got off the phone.
I'm worried we won't make it. All this medical crap hasn't been easy for him to deal with and it just keeps coming. What if he doesn't want to deal with me anymore? Maybe he's decided that we shouldn't get married.
BRING ON THE VALIUM.
So then I go to the dr for my INR and tell the nurse that I've been an idiot all weekend thinking I'm going to die in my sleep. She got all over me about not calling and ushered me in to see the dr. The dr says I have inflammation around the lining of my heart and an infection of the tissue in my lungs. I can't take the meds for it cause I'm taking Coumadin. OMG, WILL IT EVER END? So now my INR is 3.3, of course, too high. In the words of the dr, "the saga continues." Oh BTW, He did also reassure me that I wouldn't be dying in my sleep tonight.
IS THERE ANYMORE VALIUM?
To finish off my day I went to school to talk to my advisor about my school schedule that is now royally screwed up. Basically they said the classes that I had to drop this semester were prerequisites for the classes I want to take in the summer and the classes in the summer are prerequisites for the ones I want to take in the fall...I'm screwed. So now there is no way for me to take summer classes, not the end of the world but I'm also going to be in school a lot longer than planned. You have no idea how much that messes up.
All this comes together to say that it hasn't been a great day and I wish Brian was around. Now I'm worried about him not being around. I don't know how I'm going to do this.
NO MORE VALIUM? HOW ABOUT SOME VODKA?
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