sick

I've avoided writing because I've been sick and UNBELIEVABLY irrational. I feel like my life is spiraling out of control and I don't know what to do about it. A lot of that it that I'm sick and when I'm sick things get a little weird.

I'm really excited about going home and also about bringing Bailey back with me. I lost a housesitting job that I desperately needed, things at work are slightly rocky, my body is flipping out on me and I'm overwhelmed about school...I guess what's new, huh? This is my life, my life is drama and if there weren't drama it wouldn't be me right? My current schoolwork it pretty under control. I'm not where I had hoped to be but I'm on the right track. I'm more concerned about the next little while. Because of how conservative this school is they have capped the amount of financial aid a person can have during school. This amount is fine when you don't have a pulmonary embolism, miss out on basically a semester of work and then add a semester of school. So now I can't survive financially without working 22-25 hours a week. This on top of doing my internship for 15 hours per week, being enrolled in 15 credit hours and school work. I'm struggling to function now without the classes, internship and with only 18 hours. I don't know what I'm going to do. I guess I've always had this view of myself that I'm strong and somehow it always ends up working out but in the last little while that thought hasn't been as convincing as usual. Things haven't worked out in a way that would prove this thought recently.

I'm still loosing, obviously not as quickly as before but still getting there. 2.0 lbs in a week is a lot more reasonable than 9 lbs. It feels so good that I can loose weight like a normal person. I'm nervous my specialist isn't going to keep me on this med and I like it so I want to stay on it. We'll see how it goes!